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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  August 8, 2018 11:35pm-12:37am PDT

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>> football tomorrow! captioning sponsored by cbs >> president trump continues hisivation in new jersey. he is staying out of public view, at least so far ♪ can't seem to get my mind off of you ♪ now that i'm away i wish i'd stayed ♪ when you looked at me i should have run ♪ but i thought it was just for fun ♪
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i should have known that time would tell ♪ a week without you-- >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." >> tonight a raging election. plus, stephen welcomes jim acosta nina dobrev and comedian michael palascak featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey!
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>> stephen: hey, everybody! perfect, beautiful! can't miss! hey, jon! what's going on? good to see you. . ( cheers and applause ) wooo! hey! >> stephen: stephen! stephen! stephen! ( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: yeah, right here. gets you right here. oh! thank you. thank you very much. please, have a seat, everybody. too kind. thank you so much up there, down here, out there, all around the world. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) hey, you guys-- you guys know elections? we still have those. and in fact, we had some yesterday around the country,
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around the country. the big battle was over ohio's 12th district, pitting republican troy balderson against democrat danny o'connor in what many are calling, "the slugfest in the midwest," "the great debate near ohio state," "the rumpus near colump-us." ( laughter ) the 12th has sent a republican to congress for the last 35 years, and in 2016, it went for trump by 11 points. so it should have been a blowout, but the race still hasn't been called. in fact, if the vote difference tightens further, it could trigger an automatic recount under ohio election law. and under ohio election law, whoever loses the recount has to go to the lakers. ( laughter ) it was also-- yeah. ba-ba-boo! it was also an historic night because 11 women became -- it's a record-- 11 women are now gubernatorial nominees. ( cheers and applause )
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and in kansas, a democratic nomination for congress went to sharice davids, a native american, openly gay attorney, and a first-time candidate.nl wy ( cheers and applause ) there you go. listen to that. proof is in the pudding right there. the only way davids could be more of a liberal dream is if she was a bundle of recycled straws. ( laughter ) but my favorite election victory yesterday was in kansas' 4th district where republican representative ron estes won his race against a different ron estes. ( laughter ) yeah. it was a huge win for ron estes, and a major upset for ron estes. ( laughter ) the estes families are thrilled and sad tonight. ron estes gave a moving concession speech saying, "i would like to congratulate my opponent, ron estes. his name is my name, too. whenever we go out, the people always shout, "there goes ron estes!"
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dah-dah-dah-dah. ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) of course, trump is still on vacation at his country club in bedminster, new jersey, but he hasn't forgotten about the mueller investigation. because on sunday, the president played golf with republican senator and man who just can't get that piece of popcorn out, lindsey graham. according to lindsey, during the outing, trump brought up ending the russia probe about 20 times. you know what they say: trying the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is the definition of "a very stable genius." ( laughter ) and that's not even counting all the voicemails he left:
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( laughter )
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( cheers and applause ) sounds good. he sounds handsome. of course, trump isn't the only republican afraid of johnny law. so is new york congressman and man poking his head up from behind a cardboard cutout of a politician at the fair, chris collins. today, congressman collins was indicted on insider trading charges. insider trading is the whitest of all white collar crimes-- if you don't count conspiracy to wear khakis to a jimmy buffet concert. ( laughter ) now, collins is on the board of a pharmaceutical company, and he found out before the public that their biggest new drug failed a clinical trial. and now he's accused of passing that information on to his son, prompting the son and others to sell 1.78 million shares shortly before the bad news was made public. one of the reasons this is getting so much attention is that back in 2016, collins was
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the first member of congress to back donald trump. so it's not the first time he's been part of a massive con job. ( laughter ) and here's the crazy thing. collins found out about the failed drug trial by reading an email while he was at the white house attending the annual congressional picnic. in fact-- and this is true-- cbs news has exclusive footage of collins on the phone at the picnic. there he is. in the circle, on the phone right there, presumably calling his son. now, while cbs news has acquired the video, "the late show" has acquired the audio. jim, enhance: >> hilo? sell! sell! sell, sell, sell! this is chris collins! sell! no, we'll never get caught, sell! >> stephen: according, according-- it's hard to hear, but i think he's saying sell.
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according to the indictment, collins tried to call his son 15 seconds after learning the news but had trouble reaching him, making six calls in five minutes before connecting. no. if you want to conspire with your millennial children, you don't call, you text. when he heard the trial failed, he should have sent this: "we are in deep... poop emoji!" we've got a great show for you tonight. jim acosta from cnn is here. but when we return, i ruin someone's wedding. stick around! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ introducing 24/7 denim for the family. your favorite jeans, with round the clock comfort. get jeans on sale up to fifty percent off. ♪
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( cheers and applause )
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>> stephen: jon batiste and stay human, everybody. give it up for the band! jon, good to see you again. always exciting. even when i-- even sometimes when i don't have the energy, i look over there and i see this absolutely just incandescent collection of joy and love over there. it gives me the energy i need to go on night after night. thank you for being there. >> jon: yeah, you got to push it just to get by. >> stephen: unbelievable. i can't wait to meet the rest of the band some day. i hear they're just great. >> jon: yeah. >> stephen: were you here last night? >> jon: i was here. >> stephen: i was here last night, too. >> jon: i saw you. >> stephen: i saw you over there, too. >> jon: you were there and over there, too. >> stephen: i'm all over the place. before we go on, tonight, i want to issue a rare correction.
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on last night's show, i described this guy right here, conservative columnist jonah goldberg, as one of trump's allies, and added that he looked like a guy at a magic convention inviting you back to his hotel room. ( laughter ) goldberg got mad about one of those two things. because he is not actually a trump ally. he is, in fact, a very staunch "never trumper." he's been very public about it, and we here at "the late show" regret many things. and i want to extend a portion of that regret to jonah goldberg and jonah goldberg's family, because to many americans, the label "trump ally" is a hurtful slur. ( laughter ) i'm surprised cbs even let me say that on air. it's the sort of divisive hate speech that we are trying to get rid of in our national discourse, like "cuck" and "papa john." so, mr. goldberg, please accept this bouquet of regrets, and i'll see you at the magic convention.
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( applause ) sure, why not. magic fans. we've also got a rare "late show" milk update. you see, a few weeks ago, i told you that the trump administration is planning to crack down on the use of the term "milk" for nondairy products, like soy and almond beverages. it is the first time the trump administration has cracked down on anything white. ( laughter ) and when i-- ( cheers and applause ) yeah. look at that. look at that. and when i told you about this, i made a promise. take a look: f.d.a. commissioner scott gottlieb explained the move, saying that the agency's current standards for milk reference products from lactating animals, and, "an almond doesn't lactate." by the way, the first person to seamlessly work the phrase "an almond doesn't lactate" into their wedding vows and sends me a video gets... i don't know, a t-shirt.
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it's basically the same reward you get from america's funniest home videos, but i don't make you hit yourself in the balls with a rake. ( laughter ) i don't discourage it. i just don't demand it. ( laughter ) well, somebody really wanted a t-shirt, evidentally, because a few days later, viewer paul glassman added this to his sacred vows of matriimony. >> i vow to not blast the air conditioning in the truck during the wintertime. i vow to never make fun of you for being lactose intolerant. always remember, always remember that an almond can't lactate. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: yes! yes! oh, touched. i'm touched paul, you did it! yes! i'm excited for you! i'm proud of you. and i'm surprised your wife said, "i do." this was your wedding! and you dropped a reference to
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my show in there because i promised you a t-shirt? what do i have to do to get yo to name your firstborn after me, throw in a free keychain? ( laughter ) maybe my favorite part, though, was what paul's groomsmen do after he dropped "the late show" reference into his wedding vows. >> always remember, an almond can't lactate. >> stephen: yes! okay, that settles it. paul, you're not getting one "an almond doesn't lactate" t-shirt. you're getting eight t-shirts-- one for you, one for each of your six groomsmen, and one for your wife, who not only has to put up with you. now she has to put up with me. i hope you both wear them 'til death do you part, or until almonds develop nipples. we'll be right back with cnn's jim acosta.
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( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! welcome back to "the late show." folks, the president calls my first guest tonight "a real beauty," among other things. please welcome the chief white house correspondent for cnn, jim acosta! ( applause ) ♪ ♪ >> all right. >> stephen: can i see your socks? >> yes, there you go. >> stephen: red, white, and blue. can we get a shot of those, red, white, and blue socks there? >> from the enemy of the people
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collection. >> stephen: of course, of course. well, may long may your ankles waves. as i said in your introduction, you're the chief white house correspondent for cnn. at the last press briefing-- i think this was the last one before they went on vacation-- you asked this of sarah huckabee sanders: >> all the people around the world are watching what you're saying, sarah, and the white house of the united states of america, should not refer to us as the enemy of the people. all i'm asking is for you to acknowledge that right now and right here. ( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: people seem to-- >> it's not a big deal, right? just say, we're not the enemy of the people. >> stephen: what did she eventually say to you? did she ever say, "yeah, you're right, you're not." she went through a litany of complaints about the way she has been treated and she talked about the white house correspondents' dinner where
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comedian michelle wolf made unflattering comments about her. i said i'm sorry you got put through the meat grinder. we all get put through the meat grinder in this town. but at the end of the day, you shouldn't be referring to the press as the enemy of the people. we're not the enemy of the people ( applause ). >> stephen: you've gotten-- you've gotten singled out by the president quite specifically in his disdain for and you for cnn. and you've become-- you've gotten some notoriety for pushing back in the way that you have. are you an outlyer or are you merely saying the things that everyone in the press corps is saying but just not in front of a camera? >> no, you know, we're all fed up with the treatment that we're receiving. and i'm not the only one to speak out about this. you know, listen -- >> stephen: but you're famous for it because you particularly get picke picked on by him and u particularly push back. >> well, i push back. >> stephen: why do you think you have that relationship where him? >> here's how i describe it. this went on during the
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campaign, he referred to us as the disgusting news media, liars, scum and thieves. and nine days before he became president of the united states he would not take a question from me from cnn about the dossier and about this intelligence assessment that the intelligence community was giving to the incoming president, that you might be compromised with this information that the russians have. and he would not take the question, and he said, "you're fake news sm. and to me, when you insult our news organization, when you call us fake news, the way i look at it, hey, that's calling on me for a question. the same thing happened in britain a few weeks ago when he called us fake news at a news conference with the british prime minister right in front of us. he refers to cnn as fake news. i look at that as he's calling on me for a question. so i am going to seems to dislie you more than any other news service? is it because you guys-- >> we're pretty nice guy s. >> stephen: ...about the dossier? >> well, there was an exclusive
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report cnn it at the time on january 11, and that was my mission in life was to go into that press conference and ask a question about that story. but, listen, ever since then-- and this gets under their skin-- we have had to be fact checkers in real time and try to tell the truth in real time when the president says, "barack obama wiretapped me at trump tower." not true, when he says that millions of people undocumented people voted in the election. that's why i lost the popular vote. that's not true. you know, his political career was built, the foundation of his political career was built on a lie that barack obama was not born in this country. and so, listen, you know these are tough times. there are some tough questions to be asked. but i don't-- i don't think we do ourselves any good, stephen, if we shy away from these hard questions. and, you know, my goodness, the way i look at it is-- and this is the debate i have with my fellow journalists when we talk about this-- what if we just did nothing?
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do we just sit back and do nothing in the face of that? >> stephen: well, that's akin to the question i wanted to ask as a follow-up. i believe you shouldn't do nothing. i believe in fact checking. i be in facts. i believe there is an objective reality but-- it's where i live. >> it's a good place to be. >> stephen: let's give some examples of fact check the exprt you tell me what effect you think it might have. last week he said that u.s. steel, because of his tariffs, is opening six shuttered steel plants. and people said that's not actually happening. and he goes, it's seven now. they're opening seven." and u.s. steel said, "we're not. we're opening one blast furnace in a plant that had been turned off. we're refiring one blast furnace." and he said, "it's eight now, they're doing eight now." and that's a demonstrable lie. >> yes. >> stephen: and a big one, actually that the company itself says it's not true and you guys report that it's not true. what do you imagine the effect of that is? because for any other president
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it would be absolutely destructive. >> it is absolutely destructive when the president does that. and that is why, you know, i, along with many of my colleagues in the white house press corps-- it's not just me, a lot of us do this-- we push back on these falsehoods on a daily base, and this is why there are a lot of folks who support the president who are very upset with us right now because they take that in and see it as we're bashing the president all day long. i mean, listen, are we supposed to do the news and not fact check the president when he is obviously just telling whoppers one after another. i mean, i was at the rally in tampa the other night and he said not only are there fake newses, there are fake polls. and almost in the same breath, he said, "by the way, a poll just came out and i'm the most popular president of the all time." how can the polls be fake and in the next second say, "by the way, there is a poll that says i'm the most popular, maybe even
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more popular than abraham lincoln." when polls didn't exist. there were not polls then as far as i know. >> stephen: he was called the kentucky poll splitter. do you lose heart-- >> no. >> stephen: because your job-- i'm not going to tell you your job-- but it is to hold people in power to account for the things that they say and do. and nothing that he says or does seems to have any effect on the people who support him. >> that is a difficult problem. and i was at this rally in tampa last week and, you know, you might have seen some of the video that people at the rally were -- >> stephen: we actually have it. >> tell the truth! tell the truth! >> right there! >> yeah. i don't know her. i don't know why she did, that but...
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( laughter ) she seems -- >> stephen: she's somebody's little girl. >> she is. she seems very nice. we went out for a beer later. it was great-- no. i mean, listen, you know, i talked to these folks. i was at that rally last week and what i did was i stepped down from the risers that we stand on, and i went down and i talked to a lot of these folks-- yeah. >> stephen: here are you. you're taking selfies with them. >> there's that. a lot of these folks, they're well intentioned. you know, they care about their country. i totally understand that. they really like this president but they'll ask me, "why don't you report the good things he does." i said, "listen, we just talked about the jobs numbers last friday. he had good jobs well, doike president?" and i said, "that's n relevant. i don't have to like the president of the united states. he doesn't have to like me. thewe have jobs to do. of the as you talk to these folks they calm down but a lot of these folks get their
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impression of what we do by talking to other conservative outlets, they talk to other conservative websites. and these folks are focused on the coverage of the president's behavior more than they are the president's behavior. and to me, i think the president's behavior is more newsworthy than our coverage. but a lot of these folks out there they're getting their sense of what we do twisted and warped by some people out there who just want to do the president's bidding. >> stephen: do you worry that the president poants to you all so much and there's a natural need to respond as a human being that you end up being the story when that's not really the goal of your journalism. >> right, and we're not supposed to be the story. that's not why i'm out there. you know, i get accused of that from time to time, and my attitude slisten, i'm allowed to care about this country just as much as anybody else. >> stephen: look at the socks. >> look at the socks. if & if you think that, you know, you can take children away from their parents on the border and put them in cages, if you think you can demonize immigrants and call them rapists
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and criminals, if you think that you can distort the sense of reality that we all have on a daily basis by telling lie after lie and falsehood after falsehood and not face any hard questions, i think you're just not living in the same united states of america that i live in. >> stephen: i thought you were going to say, "you might be donald trump." >> thank you, stephen >> stephen: cnn's jim acosta, everybody! we'll be right back with nina dobrev. (ford chime) it's the ford summer sales event and now is the best time to buy. you ready for this, junior? yeah, i think i can handle it. no pressure... ...that's just my favorite boat. boom. (laughs) make summer go right with ford, america's best-selling brand. and get our best deal of the summer: zero percent financing
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( cheers and applause ) >> hey, everybody! welcome back to "the late show." folks, you know my next guest tonight from the television series "degrassi" and "the vampire diaries." she now stars in the new film "dog days." please welcome to "the late show,"" nina dobrev. ♪ ♪ ( applause ) >> hi! how are you? >> stephen: nice to meet you. >> you, too. >> stephen: nice to have you on. >> thank you, my pleasure. >> stephen: we've never met before but i'm familiar with your work. we were a real "vampire" fans as a family. >> i'my big fan of yours as well. you just-- you just-- is this
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tweeted or instagram? >> that was instagram. >> stephen: you said you're carb loading for "colbert late show," tequila, please. tune in tonight. >> so i was preparing and getting ready for tonight and i youtubed previous shows, and i saw jennifer lawrence when she was on the show with you. >> stephen: sure, sure, sure. we drank a lot of rum. >> yes. so i got nervous and thought that maybe we would drink today, so i ordered a lot of room service to prepare myself so wouldn't be a cheap date. >> stephen: would you-- would you-- we have a bar back here, would you like something? would you like some tequila? >> yes, i would never say no to tequila. wooo! i am excited and very nervous. this is going to get-- those are big shot glasses. oh, my goodness. >> stephen: so you were-- while i'm pouring this-- you were born in bulgaria as i understand. >> accurate, yes. >> stephen: that's what we aim to be here, accurate. i worked on "accurate central"
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for years. i'll do a little. i'm not feeling too drinky tonight. >> is somebody hung over. >> stephen: i was on andy cohen's show "watch what happens live," which is going to be on this sunday, and they have a bar there. i can't drink midweek. >> what day is it, wednesday? >> stephen: i don't know. >> cheers. >> stephen: cheers. ( cheers and applause ) >> all right! feeling good. >> stephen: there we go. then you moved to canada. >> yes. >> stephen: from bulgaria. >> yes. >> stephen: do you get tired of the stereotype that canadians are nice? are they actually nice, or do we just not tell-- we can't tell how they're being rude. >> okay no i think it is a stereotype for a reason. i get told that i'm very nice, and i do have-- i've had that experience. i recently went to montreal to visit my brother, for example, and we played this game at the bar-- i guess i have a drinking theme. maybe i'm an alcoholic. i don't know-- yeah, here we go,
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load them up. so we were at the bar and playing this game we invented called, "rock, paper, dare." essentially, you dare the other person to do something, and in this case a bachelorette party was there, the girls had a tray of 12 drinks, and my brother dared me to grab one of the drinks from the tray. i lost, i had to go up to these strangers, took the shots -- >> stephen: you stole their shots. >> i stole their shots. and i said, "i'm sor sorry, it's a dare." and they looked at me, "no, we're sorry. please, take it." and i was like, "wait, why are you apologizing, i stole from you." and we kept going back and forth, "i'm sorry." "no, i'm sorry." >> stephen: i hope nobody invades canada because the army will just surrender out of graciousness. >> stephen: cheers. >> are we sipping or shotting. >> stephen: shotting. one, two, three, go.
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>> oh, that was mean! i'm sorry. >> stephen: oh, no-- ( laughter ) i was-- i was waiting. i was waiting. do you need a lime or anything? need a lime? >> i'll take it, yeah, yeah. >> stephen: i have frequently accused actors-- and i was one myself at one point-- actors are very close to liars. they kind of professionally lie with emotional integrity. >> yes. >> stephen: have you ever used your superpower as an actress for evil. >> i've never heard it called a superpower, but i will take tbecause i always wanted to be a superhero. yesss... >> stephen: what have you done? how have you used your acting-- how have you used your acting for bad? >> i hope this doesn't get me in trouble. so i don't think he knows this but i did a movie with sam jackson -- >> stephen: he doesn't know you did the movie with him? >> now, he does. but before we had done the film together he was shooting a film in atlanta and i was on "vampire diaries," and a friend who knows
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him invited him to dinner, and i had some friends in town. and i had promised, because i was the queen of atlanta-- everyone said i knew the city best, that i would take care of the reservation and take them to the nicest restaurant in town. cut to, i had my assistant call, and he dropped my name, and my name didn't matter. they were like, "we don't really care. the restaurant is busy. we can't take you." and i said, "oh, (bleep), i already promised this"-- oh, am i allowed to swear? well, i did, so there it is. so i had my assistant call again, same voice, but say that he was sam's assistant -- >> stephen: oh, "i'm calling for samuel jackson." >> yes, and they not only got us a table for eight, but they got it on inside plus they got us a table for eight in a private room just in case sam didn't want to be in the main room. ( laughter ) cut to we get to the restaurant, and now we have two tables, and we thought maybe he would come, but as the dinner went on, like,
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he wasn't coming. and they were like oh, cool. the waiters were all excited to. "i can't wait to meantime sam." and it was just me and a couple of other kids. and as the meal went on they kept coming around. and they were like, "is he coming?" i said, "yeah, five minutes, 10 minutes away, on his way." 30 minutes go by, they keep circ hing, and by the end of it, i made up a lie and i was like, "oh, sam just called. actually"-- at the time obama was president. "obama asked him to come to the white house. so he got on the jet. sam can't make it." >> stephen: that's a big lie. if you're going to lie, lie big. >> you can't get mad. if obama calls you go. >> stephen: the new film is called "dog days." you have a lot of canine costars on this. what does the set smell like? is it the worst-smelling set you have been on or was it the best? >> i like puppy breath, so i didn't mind it.
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also, i will take a four-legged costar over a two-legged costar any day. >> stephen: really? >> yeah. >> stephen: really. they're more reliable? >> they're more reliable, they're cuter, they're fuzzier, they cuddle more, and they don't talk back. >> stephen: but could you get them a reservation? >> from my past experience, i think so, necessary. >> stephen: nina, lovely to meet you. thank you so much for being here. "dog days" is in theaters now. nina dobrev, everybody! we'll be right back with comedian michael palascak. totally re-mixed. introducing the all-new volkswagen jetta.
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( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody, welcome back! folks, my next guest is a stand-up comedian you've seen on "last comic standing." please welcome, michael palascak! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ >> hi. hi. i have a girlfriend. thanks.
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( laughter ) i remember when we first started dating, she didn't have a job for a little bit. and i remember she texted me one time. she was like, "michael, i just don't know what to do. i only have 10 cents in my account right now." "you spent everything you had except 10 cents?" ( laughter ) "without going over?" ( laughter ) "you should go on 'the price is right'." ( laughter ) really? now the alarm is going off in your head at 10 cents? at $10 were you just standing outside of a walgreens like, 'i could rent 6 red box movies'." you can't afford anything for 10 cents. you can barely afford to give your opinion. ( laughter ) she tries to give me advice on something, i will be like, "oh, why don't you hold on to your two cents." ( laughter )
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( applause ) on "i don't want to take one-fifth of your net worth." ( laughter ) her name is sam. she's great. she told me one time that she has never been broken up with before and... yeah. she shouldn't have told me that. ( laughter ) because i am very competitive. ( laughter ) there will be no undefeated seasons! ( laughter ) a lot of my friends are married, and they have, you know? like, they say being a parent is a full-time job. but it seems more like a horrible, unpaid internship. ( laughter ) yeah. where, like, the first five years you bring your boss lunch,
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and he just throws it on the ground half the time. ( laughter ) "how are you running this company?" ( laughter ) i would never accept that job in an interview. they'd be like, "do you want this full-time job?" "oh, well what does it it pay?" "oh, you pay." ( laughter ) "thousands. for at least 18 years, or you could go to jail." ( laughter ) "what do i get out of it?" "you get judged for asking that question." ( laughter ) "what do you get out of it? you get love, okay. for 13 years. ( laughter ) ( applause ) 10 to 13 years!
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and then you get judged and resented for five to 10 years. and then you get love again, based on how much money you give them." ( laughter ) ( applause ) i'm not saying that kids aren't worth it. i'm just saying that they cost more than they're worth. ( laughter ) like, kids are... i see my friends become parents, and i'm sure on the inside there's a lot of joy in that transition. but on the outside i'm just like... oooh. what happened? ( laughter ) like, "how do you know when to go to the doctor because you look sick every day." seriously, like, seeing them before and after, it's leak a
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makeover commercial but reverse. like, "you're after, but... you look way before." ( laughter ) i was visiting my parents recently. my mom is really nice. she was like, "michael, i will give you a ride to the airport." sweet! free ride to the airport! and then as we were driving, she is like, "i just want to let you than marriage is a lot easier if you find someone who has the same religion as you." not a free ride to the airport! ( laughter ) ( applause ) i'm catholic. i'm a practicing catholic.
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i haven't been in any games yet. ( laughter ) i don't agree, though, with everything that's going on with that religion. like, a couple of years ago the government said that gay people could get married, and the catholic church was just like, "ohhh... aaahh..., hmmm... ahhhwe're booked those dates." ( laughter ) ( applause ) it's not an exact quote. ( laughter ) but i don't know. like, i don't understand why. like, from what i've been told, if you're catholic and you want to get married, you're supposed to be able to procreate, and gay people can't. because of science. ( laughter ) which i-- i don't know. if you're a religion and you're using science to exclude people from something, maybe you should look at your argument one more
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time. ( laughter ) ( applause ) yeah. i think that maybe gay people can procreate, and we just need to believe. ( laughter ) right. i believe in virgin mary. i can believe in gay mark. ( laughter ) ( applause ) thanks, everybody. i'm michael palascak. >> stephen: you can see him headlining dr. grins comedy club in grand rapids, michigan, this thursday through saturday. michael palascak, everybody! we'll be right back.
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...to the shoes your family wants. find top brands at big savings... ...for men, women, boys and girls all for a whole lot less... ...at the ross shoe event. yes for less. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: that's it for "the late show." tune in tomorrow when my guests will be issa rae, darren criss, and ronny chang. now stick around for james corden. good night! captioning sponsored by cbs ed by media access oup atgbh access.bh.org. ♪ are you ready y'all to have some fun ♪ feel the love tonight don't you worry 'bout ♪ where it is you come from it'll be all right ♪ it's the late, late show >> reggie: ladies and gentme

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